Ten Cents

This is exactly why I end up spending so much money on Amazon:

The Dream Is Over...

...when the alarm clock goes off.

I used to be pretty good at waking up in the mornings.  Here's what my mornings look like nowadays:

5:25 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:30 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:35 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:30 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:35 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:40 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:45 Alarm buzzes, I hit snooze.

5:50 Alarm buzzes, I hit dismiss.

(that's the only option my phone gives me at this point)

6:05 Realize I need to wake up, but lay my head back down instead.

6:20 Get up.

7:33 Show up at work 3 minutes late. 

Those days are gone.  I've made a resolution.  NO MORE SNOOZE BUTTON!! I've made several other resolutions of late, but I need to share this one because it's going to be the toughest one to keep.  I've made it two days so far.  Hope I can keep it up.  

If not, I'm buying one of these:

The Simon Alarm 

The Laser Target Alarm

Sfera Alarm

(every time you hit snooze, it moves closer to the ceiling)

Flying Alarm

Men

       (There used to be a pic of Men's Health here)

A few questions I've been asking myself:

A. Who has time to read magazines in the bathroom at work? 

2. Why would you touch a magazine in the bathroom at work?

D. Why are these particular magazines in the bathroom at MY work

in the men's room and the WOMEN'S room when my coworkers are 96% female?

AZ Sunrise

Can't beat this.
(Unless you're watching the AZ sunset)

You're Sexy and You Know It

Boy: "Miss J, she just came up to me and said, 'You're sexy and you know it."
Me: "Ummm...do you know why she said that?"
Boy: "No. I have no idea."

I approach the girl student.
Me: "Why did you say that?"
Girl: "Because he always teases me and calls me names."
Me: "So you decided to give him a compliment?"
Girl: "Huh? No."
Me: "Do you even know what that means? You were telling him you thought he was really good looking."
Girl: "Not huh."
Me: "Yes huh."
Another child: "Miss J is right. I know what that means."
Girl: "Oh no!"

Look in the Clown's Mouth

In my most recent dream, I was attending a performance at BYU with a friend.  We walked out to our car afterwards and I realized that I didn't have my keys with me.  We quickly rushed back to the outdoor amphitheater and started searching for the missing keys.  We came across a man who said he had seen them.  His cousin had taken the keys with him to his work at Fuller Automotive.  I contacted the cousin, who sent me a text message explaining how he was only able to keep my keys at work until closing time since they didn't belong to a Fuller car.  So once the workday was over, he had dropped the keys into the mouth of a ceramic clown statue (the only logical place to deposit lost keys).  He included a picture of the statue and directions to where I could find it.  By the time I made it to the clown statue, he no longer had anything in his mouth.  After fretting a bit about what would happen next, I woke up.

It's Confirmed

I definitely should not go into acting.

Last night, I had a dream that I had a part in a play.  I worked really hard to memorize all of my lines, but I never went to any of the practices.  I can't say that there were even any practices because nobody else seemed to know what they were doing.  My role was that of an investigator.  I left backstage for a minute to get a snack (sounds like me) and I heard them call for an investigator.  I almost jumped on stage, but soon realized that it was another investigator's call.  I'm not even sure why I wanted to memorize my lines so badly because we all had our scripts with us during the entire show.  This lead to added frustration because I kept wanting to correct people when they made mistakes.  I will say, though, that our set was pretty sweet.  I was riding in a bus and it almost looked like a real bus.  I never even got to say any of my lines before my alarm woke me up for my first day back to work.