Bonjour!

A few weeks ago, the following conversation went down in my classroom during a spelling exercise:

Teacher (me): The word is eject.  My friend will eject his movie from the DVD player.
Student 1: Did you just say his movie?
Student 2: Is he your boyfriend?
Student 3: Did you find him on google?
Student 4: No, match.com
Student 3: Is he a french model? Bonjour!
Student 2: Bonjour!
All students, all day, everyday since then: Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!

After sharing this story, I learned that this french model line is not so random.

This morning, my boyfriend showed up in my classroom. He greeted me by saying, "Bonjour!" He continued to speak in French and soon the kids were shouting, "It's the french model!"  It was so funny. He was so into the part. I was cracking up the whole time.  I don't think I said a single word before he left.  There was much debate among the children over whether or not he was actually a french model.  Of course, France came up randomly like 4 more times throughout the day and we all laughed some more. The laughter continued when I read the card he had left with me:

"Mademoiselle, Ma petit cherie! I shall never forget that day in Paris! Your face was even more beautiful than my own...All for you, ma crouton jolie, ma croissant avec fromage. (my pretty crouton, my croissant with cheese)
Au revoir,
Jean-Claude Valjean
Model, Actor

I seriously doubt that the actor in the State Farm commercial could pull off such poetic language.

Owl of the Week

To introduce how we do student of the week in my classroom, I was the first "Owl of the Week."  On Friday, we always write letters to that person.  Here are a few highlights from the letters I received:

"I hope you are haveing a grate time whith Hedwig...So how whod you feel if I got you a real live owl.  It would be cool.  No-Yes

"I like how some times you get out of your mind!"

"You are so nice to us in class. I hope you stay alive for ever."

"owls are nauternal (nocturnal) that means they hunt at night. I like nauternal animals they can catch pray wile they are sleeping they don't even know."

So there you have it.  They don't want me to die and nocturnal animals can catch prey while they are sleeping.  Who knew?

Chips

Favorite end of school gift:

"Your all that in a bag of chips."

General Conference Highlight

We don't have the BYU channel at our casa, so we always watch conference via my laptop hooked up to the tv.  This sometime leads to technical difficulties.  Nothing beats what we experienced this year.  

During one talk, I closed my eyes (I was still listening).  When I opened them again, this is what I saw: 

The audio was still working fine, but the visual got stuck like this on several talks.  I don't know that this brings enjoyment to anyone besides my roommate and me, but we could just watch this video over and over without it getting old.

Ten Cents

This is exactly why I end up spending so much money on Amazon:

You're Sexy and You Know It

Boy: "Miss J, she just came up to me and said, 'You're sexy and you know it."
Me: "Ummm...do you know why she said that?"
Boy: "No. I have no idea."

I approach the girl student.
Me: "Why did you say that?"
Girl: "Because he always teases me and calls me names."
Me: "So you decided to give him a compliment?"
Girl: "Huh? No."
Me: "Do you even know what that means? You were telling him you thought he was really good looking."
Girl: "Not huh."
Me: "Yes huh."
Another child: "Miss J is right. I know what that means."
Girl: "Oh no!"

Overly Efficient

Since living in my current home, I have acquired the nicknames "Miss Efficiency" and "Electricity Nazi." Mostly, the power company's "Time of Use Plan" is to blame for this.  In AZ, you can save money by using the bulk of your electricity during certain times of the day.  Of course, they want you to use your electrical appliances at times when it is least convenient for you as the customer.  I am usually the one who is reminding everyone else of these times and getting a little bit agitated when they don't adhere to them.

Recently, two important events happened that basically changed my whole life:

First, the fire department dropped by a few months ago to check if we had a gas leak that was setting off the carbon monoxide monitor.  They asked us if we had a gas dryer, to which I responded, "No."

Second, I was talking to my best friend, who just moved into a new home and had to buy a new dryer because the house only had hook ups for gas dryers.

Both of these events kept stirring in my mind.

Then, I finally realized that my dryer is a gas dryer!!!

Why is this such a big deal?

Because for the past THREE YEARS I have not been drying my clothes from 1-8pm in the summer and 5-9am and 5-9pm in the winter and it hasn't saved me a single penny! I followed that crazy schedule with my laundry for no good reason.  I still can't believe it.


P.S. When I told my mom this story, she was not at all surprised.  I guess that when I was in first grade, I yelled at her for leaving the water running while she was brushing her teeth.

Lt. Holmes

This is Steven:

AKA Lieutenant Holmes:

Last night he left the U.S. to serve our country in Afghanistan,

and it's all his fault that my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride all day. 

This morning, I started crying as we were saying the Pledge of Allegiance at school.

 I think I only made it to "I pledge" before I had to stop talking.

Then, one of my students noticed the menorah I put up for Hanukkah and said,

"Miss Jones is Jewish?!!"

That made me laugh.

Only a few minutes later, they had a special visitor appear on the announcements.

It was a father who came home last week from Afghanistan for a short while.

He presented an American flag that flew on Sept. 11, 2011 in Afghanistan and was dedicated to our school.

Crying again.

The rest of the day went really well.

After school, I stopped at Walgreen's and they asked me if I wanted to buy a candy bar for the troops in Afghanistan .  I said, "Yes I do!" without shedding a single tear.

I picked out a great one for you Steven.

I can't wait for you to be reunited with your wonderful wife and
soon-to-be-born little girl!
Thank you for serving our country!

Flourish

Today, my class turned in their math papers and one of them caught my eye.  Here it is:

A normal name and a flourish name, huh?  This may seem very random and kind of strange.  Unless, you were reading Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Cleary with us today.   In this book, Ramona is only 4 and doesn't know how to write her name.  She wants her name to have lots of i's to dot and t's to cross.  So, she writes the letters she likes, but always "with a flourish."

Sharing Time

Today I am going to catch up on what's been going on in my life.  Mostly for my dad, who threatens to stop reading my blog if I don't update it often enough.

First, I have a story to share:  

One day, I was standing outside after school, yelling at all the children to "Walk!" That's a skill that I acquired in Teacher School.*  A ten-year-old exits the building, walks over to me, and asks, "Is it raining?"  Umm, did you really have to ask me that.  My response: "Is it?"  He looks up and decides that it's not.

Next, I have a definition to share: 

 (Thank you dictionary.com)

lit·er·al·ly

   [lit-er-uh-lee]  Show IPA

adverb

1.

in the literal  or strict sense: What does the wordmean literally?

2.

in a literal  manner; word for word: to translate literally.

3.

actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy: The city wasliterally destroyed.

4.

in effect; in substance; very nearly; virtually.

People have literally been using this word way too much.  They literally don't know what it means.  "Literally" is the new "ironic."  They hear it and think it sounds great and want to literally use it themselves and then their children literally start using it and the meaning begins to get lost.  

I literally don't know who to blame for this problem, but I get upset at them every time I hear it used incorrectly.  Nothing will ever top the day that a girl giving a talk in church said, "I literally cried my eyes out." And here's another: " I literally have people coming out of the woodwork asking for the recipe." Wow. That's amazing.

I would also like to share a secret:

No, it's not a secret about my love life.  Sorry.  It's the secret to having the best grilled cheese sandwich ever. Are you ready? The secret is: use sourdough bread.  When you combine cheese, sourdough, a little butter, and a hot griddle, your mouth will be in heaven.  And then you'll have to eat it every night for two weeks like I did.  It's that good.  

Finally, I will share some pictures:

 I made that snowflake!

Aren't you impressed? (because you should be)

It is the first snowflake I made under the tutelage of my new roommate.

(and the first picture I took with my new, fancy camera) 

Our whole ceiling is decorated with these amazing snowflakes, 

all made by my new roommate from Texas. She's amazing. 

*To learn about Teacher School, you'll have to read the book 32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny. I highly recommend it. If you are a teacher, that is. Or if you just want to, but you won't appreciate it as much I'm guessing. 

True Love

This has been my favorite for years.

And always will be.

Now it can be yours too!

Spaghetti

Today we read two poems about spaghetti at school.  One was about how great it is and the other talked about how hard it is to eat.  Afterwards, I told the kids to write a letter to their parents.  They were supposed to persuade them to either make or not make spaghetti for dinner.  This is my favorite one:

Dear Daddy,

You make really bad spaghetti.  Please don't make any more.  It's really hot.  It's really sad that can't make it better well...to bad.  No affence, I can't eat a noodle it's to bad especially the sauce.  Why do you make spaghetti if I don't eat you will give me no lunch.  :( Well, all I need to tell you is don't think I like spaghetti. Please don't make it!

Sincerely,

Your daughter

Out of Material

I've got nothing. 

No dreams. 

 No funny stories. 

 I feel like I've been doing a lot,

but I don't know really what to say about it.

  So, I'll just tell you what I've been doing

and then you and come up with some
 funny/interesting/boring thoughts in your head about it.

Last weekend, I went to see The Lamb of God.

I got free tickets at the last moment.  I've heard that Rob Gardner was talented, but I really had no idea how wonderful it was really going to be.  Click here to see a preview of one of the songs.  I can't be certain, but it really looks like the composer has no shoes on, which I find to be very amusing.

One of the people that I went with has OCD.  Which reminds me that I've also been telling everyone about this t-shirt, which I also find to be very amusing:

 

I also went ice skating.

I refrained from busting out these skills 

as I did not want to intimidate the other young single adults.

Mostly, I've been spending WAY too much time at work.

Luckily, there are little things that make 

lesson planning and grading papers more bearable.

Like when a student leaves a note like this at the bottom of his assignment:

 Here's the other side:

Tonight, I will be hanging out with Betsy Ross and John Hancock at the Constitution Fair.

Apparently, most people are excited to see David Archuleta there. I, personally, am most excited about the

parachuters!

I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils...

Almost every year, I have a nightmare before school starts about the children that will be in my new class.  Luckily, I haven't had one of those (yet).  However, I have had 2 dreams about school.  Each of them only involved me and some other teachers.  In the one that I had last night, a coworker presented me with a big box of pencils that had been donated to my classroom.  I was more than thrilled about this wonderful gift, until she revealed the catch.  They were all #3 pencils, so I'd have to shave off the number 3 on each one.  Wouldn't want any children wigging out about the wrong pencil, like DJ Tanner did in the episode where she took the SAT test (and her burrito was talking).  Actually, I wouldn't care what number they were, as long as they were already sharpened.  One year, I did receive number 2.5 pencils in my class.  Kind of strange, but they worked just fine. :)

Come and knock on our door...

As I was driving the other day, I was passed by a truck similar to the one below. The main difference, though, was that the back tire was missing (the one my handy yellow arrow is pointing to). The one lonely tire on the right side looked pretty awkward. I wanted to take a picture, but he sped away too quickly. I'm not sure why he was in such a hurry. He was probably going to get a new tire.

Speaking of third wheels, I invited myself to join my sis and bro-in-law to go to the MIM (Musical Instrument Museum). Right away, we formed a family band with matching guitars.

Then, I fulfilled my life-long dream to play a harp.

There were plenty of great instruments on display, but my favorite was the air guitar, as pictured in its case below. The plaque next to it read that it was made of:

Nitrogen, Oxygen, Carbon Dioxide, Dreams.

The main reason we went that evening was to see Camaron's favorite band,

What Laura Says.

It's still unclear who Laura is, but if I had to guess, I'd say she says, "Put on a great show."

And they did.

Big Mistake in the Big Lots lot

I have been searching everywhere for Ice Breakers Limeade mints. I heard a rumor that they had some at the new Big Lots. It wasn't true. Boo. However, that is not Big Lots' only problem. As I pulled into an empty parking space, I realized that something wasn't quite right. I was parked right in front of the opening for the shopping cart return. Was I in an actual parking spot? Yes I was. They installed it backwards! Ha. So unless they turn this thing around, it will only be utilized when a car is not there preventing any carts from getting out or coming in. I took a picture and it turned out pretty crummy, but I'll add it below anyway.

P. S. If anyone finds any Limeade mints, let me know. Seriously. I need them. And they need me.

You Guys

I had to go to the Toyota dealership last weekend to get a recalled part replaced. When I dropped my car off, the Toyota man asked me to come inside to get some information from me. I didn't really see the purpose of our long conversation and was ready to get out of there, especially since the whole time he kept referring to me as you guys. "Let me know if you guys have any questions." "We'll see you guys later this afternoon." Who are you talking to?! Is there someone sitting next to me? I certainly can't see anyone. If it's a man, would you mind telling me what he looks like? I totally should have replied, "We have enjoyed talking with you. "

And the winners are...

List three people that show the same courage and sense of fairness that Harriet Tubman had.

1. Justin Timberlick

2. Amilia Airhart

3. Justin Bieber

I'm glad to see that kids these days have such a good understanding of what it really means to be courageous and fair.

Meet TC

She is gifted.  She can't stay in her seat. She keeps me on my toes each and every day. She is the student I mentioned on my birthday that gave me coupons for her to be quiet for 5 minutes. Since then, she told me that they are reusable and they don't expire until May. That was the best news I'd heard all week.

I had a dream that I was teaching and the lights went off. I thought to myself, I can't believe the lights turned off! It must be because TC is absent. The district recently installed motion sensors in all of our classrooms (which I personally think is not going to save any money) and if nobody moves for 5 minutes, it goes dark. This has yet to happen, but I promised my class an extra recess if they manage this feat. Maybe if I tell them it happened in my dream, they'll be more motivated to stay in their seats.

The best part about this dream is what triggered it. The day before, TC had gotten out of her seat at least 8 times before the morning announcements were even over. I finally told her to glue her bottom to her chair. So what happened next? I watched her literally glue her bottom to her chair. A few kids came up to my desk to tell me what had happened and waited to see how I would handle the situation. What can you do when a student does exactly what you asked her to do? Not much. So I did nothing. She soon realized it wasn't such a good idea and cleaned up the mess.

Priorities

So, this "dream blog" isn't turning out how I planned it. I didn't account for the fact that I can't control when I remember my dreams and when I don't. The only dream I've had recently was one where I was happy because someone had emptied my trash for me. I only figured it out it was a dream because the trash is still full. So, from now on I guess that most of my posts will be real.

Tonight my roommate's 7 year old neice came over and we had a nice little chat, which opened my eyes up a little more to how children see the world. She told me that she wants to be in Mrs. Compton's class next year because "her class is closest to the bathrooms." Haha!

My class isn't the closest to the bathrooms, but I do have one unfair advantage over the other teachers. The kids always tell me how cool my classroom is and when I ask them why, I always think they'll comment on my cool bulletin boards or something else I put a lot of time and energy into. But, in reality, they say it's because none of the other rooms have flat screen TVs in them.